A topic that shouldn’t be all that controversial, but is, anyway. The topic of whether the act of having kinks, or sharing them in an event typically revolving around the LGBTQ+ community (that is going to be shamed and persecuted no matter what, anyway, until our society gets to grips with the fact that people are unique), is good or bad. A lot of talking points that sound like common sense on the surface, but are really just the talking points of people who would seek to eradicate the aforementioned community, at all costs.
There was a time that, I too, thought that it was just total common sense that you shouldn’t have your schlong whipping around on all fours at a public pride event, and then later, as I learned, and got a little bit older, and smarter, I realized that this is just a straw man. And even if it were something that was happening, who the hell cares?
Obviously, I have numerous claims of agency that allow me to speak on this topic, and if you doubt that agency, I would suggest that you follow me, my thoughts, and the way I’ve experienced my life just a little bit closer. But I’m not here to talk about myself. I do that enough on Mastodon.
Our society is riddled with sex-negativity, and it’s bursting at the seams. People are using it for engagement on social media, and they’re using it as talking points to run for political office. In a society, like America, where sex is a bestseller, it’s also a subject of constant shame, because we’re ridiculous like that, right? People have sex! Oh, SHIT!
But this entire debate, that goes on and on like clockwork, every year, every pride, is about respectability politics, as summarized by this Vox article.
One of the things that LGBTQ people quickly learn when they come out is that the “sex and respectability at Pride” discourse is like the villain in a horror movie who is never, ever truly defeated, even if you burn the bones.
Alex Abad-Santos, Vox
What are “respectability politics,” though?
The idea that you must act a certain way in order to be accepted, otherwise you’re tarnishing the fight for equality. Which, for real, is an extremely flawed point of view. As presented at the beginning of this post, people who want to persecute LGBTQ+ people are going to do so no matter how you act. Presenting to these types of people that you’re “one of the good ones,” will only ensure that you’re burned at the stake last.
Side-tracking to myself for a split second, I can say this fully wholeheartedly is true, because those who toy with respectability politics were instrumental in my eventual removal from the Twitter-Synthwave community. As detailed in a recent post, because I stood up for myself against transphobia.
Back to the topic of kink, though, you might be wondering, “Does this mean Quentin Tarantino is LGBTQ+-aligned, just because he likes suckin’ toes?”
No, obviously not, unless there are things about him that I’m unaware of. I’m pretty sure he’s just a straight guy.
The idea that kink belongs at pride, or that it’s an essential part of pride, is because it is something that has been part of people who belong to this community for more years than I can count, more years than I can currently fathom with my burned-out brain-juice. Because sex is part of being gay, or being lesbian, or bisexual, or trans, or pansexual, and even asexual (lack of interest in sex is still an attachment to sex). It’s a part of all of these identities just as much as it’s a part of being straight. I mean, isn’t that obvious? Do ya watch TV? Movies? Are we hollering about saving the kids from the evils of watching Pulp Fiction in front of them by accident?
Oh, no?
Okay, so then it just boils down to an obvious hate for the overall LGBTQ+ community, and a talking point that’s really easy to use to get those who do hate, riled up. That’s all it is. And there are definitely well-meaning people who latch onto these talking points, thinking that it’s all just common sense.
But it’s not.
It’s a psy-op, orchestrated by homophobes and transphobes, and hate-mongers. It’s about dividing and conquering, a strategy as old as time itself. And in the year of our pizza, 2024, I think it’s time to start breaking old habits, and getting smarter about this stuff.
Okay?
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